Nurturing Healthy Love Relationships

If that performance doesn’t inspire, we’re not sure what will! Marlow and Frances Cowan have been married for 62 plus years; their combined age is pushing two hundred years. In 2008, their sprightly duet in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic became a YouTube sensation, prompting them to share their story – and their love – with the world. But beyond the smiles that their performance brings, we think their playing is the perfect metaphor for healthy love relationships. Working together, these two individuals make beautiful music. At times they face challenges together, for instance having to change places, but they each take responsibility to play their parts. The performance couldn’t have happened without extensive practice (more than a half-century’s worth to be exact) and they had to remain committed to the music. After everything, it’s the combined effort that makes this performance so enjoyable. In the same way, true love requires that two individuals come together to share in each other’s growth. And the result is something beautiful.


But ask any couple that has passed the 25 year mark (or even the 10 year mark for that matter) of marriage and they’ll tell you that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ relationship. There are ups and downs, good times and bad times – for better or for worse, right? But what happens when a relationship seems to be more often for the worse than for the better?

It can be difficult to realize it when you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Infatuation, comfort, and security can often serve to veil the true nature of something that is actually harming you. Unhealthy relationships are characterized by the following traits:

The overarching problem within an unhealthy relationship is selfishness. Love cannot operate on these terms; if you and your partner aren’t firmly groundedand secure as individuals, how can you expect to nurture each other? The secret to having healthy love relationships lies in your ability to feel fulfilled, happy, and in love with yourself.

The Stillness Factor Through a personal quest for stillness, you can learn to let go of anger, sadness, and dependency. You’ll start to feel rooted in your own inner strength. Only when you achieve this stillness are you ready to begin sharing your essence with someone else. Moreover, through personal stillness you can attract people that are on the same level as you in terms of their personal growth. Your relationships become a shared expression of two souls, but you must first learn how to be still on your own.

Let stillness heal your love relationships.
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Healthy Relationships A healthy relationship is achieved by two individuals who understand what it means to be still. What does it look like? Within the relationship, each person has his or her own space. Both members of the relationship enjoy the time they spend together, but they don’t feel the need to do everything together – they have both shared and separate interests, hobbies, and friends. They are able to support each other emotionally and communicate what they may be feeling without aiming to hurt the other person. The relationship is characterized by mutual respect, humor, and growth, and the result is a beautiful sound.

Once you’ve released yourself from the pattern of unhealthy relationships, you can begin to experience all that love has to offer. Love really is one of the most fulfilling experiences we can have as humans; it’s the chance to move beyond yourself and share and grow with someone else. But, just ask the Cowan’s – to be able to play together you need to be able to play on your own. That is, the ability to have a healthy relationship stems from your ability to love yourself first. Only when you have found your inner stillness can you experience it.

Experience love through stillness.
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